Abortionism

( this was written as a short. I formatted it somewhat as a script, but it needs some workshopping with a couple of actors. Its still just a rough.)

Common’s “Retrospective For Life Instrumental” plays through a speaker during the entire scene:

A knock at the door, and a very young teenager goes to answer it. She is about 17 but has a babyish face that denotes the innocence and naivety of a younger girl. As the door opens a graying middle aged woman enters and immediately embraces her happily. The older woman’s clothes are colorful and handmade and woolen crafted, obviously belonging to some kind of hippie denomination.

Nina (Aunt): Hello Gaia how are you?

Gaia: I’m fine aunt Nina come in.

They exchange pleasantries. Apparently Gaia’s mother (Nina sister) is out at some kind of event with her two brothers. As soon as they sit down face to face there comes a silence initiated by Gaia. It is broken by Nina.

Nina: Honey is there something you wanted to talk about?

Gaia: Yes I have a problem.

Nina: What is it hon?

Gaia is obviously stuck by something and in a very confused state of mind.

Gaia: I’m pregnant.

Nina: (Although jolted by the statement Nina refuses to let it show on her face and for her nieces sake, continues as if nothing unusual had been said. Putting her hand on her knee.) Ok honey what can I do to help you? Anything, absolutely anything you need help with you can count on me. (delicately) Have you decided what you want to do?

Gaia: (Sadly resigned) No.

Nina: Have you told your mother yet?

Gaia: Not yet.

Nina: Alright, well what’s going on with the father?

Gaia: I don’t know. He said I should get an abortion. But I don’t think he cares one way or another.

Nina: How far along are you?

Gaia: 6 weeks.

Nina: Would you like me to get you some information on pregnancy?

Gaia: No. I mean like… I only have two choices anyway. You told me you had an abortion once, so I wanted to talk to you about it first. What was it like when you had your abortion?

Nina:( a little struck by the line of questioning) Well that was a long time ago. And I was in no where near the same position that you are in.

Gaia: Did you want to have an abortion or did someone make you?

Nina: (Still reluctant) The father didn’t want the baby at all. He really encouraged me to have a abortion. And if I had decided to have it I would have had to drop out of college, which would have broken my parents heart.

Gaia: Did you want to keep it?

Nina: (she takes a moment, trying to exactly frame her answer) um…..The thing was, it was during the early 70s and abortion had just become legal, and so abortion was looked at as this new kind of freedom. Which it was. But it was also new thing. I was in college and the women’s movement was in full swing. So having an abortion made the most sense. At the same time I had very strong feelings that this wasn’t something I really wanted to do. But I rationalize those feelings away, as me just having too traditional thinking. Because having a baby was not something an educated young woman in college did at the time. So I didn’t listen to my feelings or instincts. And that was a mistake, a big mistake.

Gaia: So what happened?

Nina: (Her aunt was hesitant to go any further, not in any sense of wanting to keep something private, but not wanting to influence Gaia’s decision with it. But finally.) I went to the abortion clinic, and my guts were just totally rumbling, and I just keeping telling myself it was just a natural fear of a medical procedure. (taking a breath) Well what happened is that the operation was completely botched. It was just a mess in ways I don’t even want to talk about.

Gaia: (concerned) Were you ok?

Nina: Yes, eventually I was ok, but there were complications after the abortion, and as a result I was never able to have children. Which I truly believe was a manifestation of my own guilt then anything physical.

Gaia(Fearful): Do you think that could happen to me?

Nina: No that’s not usually an issue. That’s just something that happened with me. Most women who do the same thing were totally fine, but that was because they were genuinely practical, or over intellectual women, and it didn’t bother them as much. I know women who’ve had abortions in the morning and gone to parties later that night. Some women have three or four abortions and then have three or four children, or visa versa. Most of the women I’ve known who have had abortions have had no troubles having children later on. But I just wasn’t that type of woman. I wanted to believe I was. And I didn’t see any reason why I shouldn’t be. Because it was the most practical thing to do, but I didn’t realize until it was too late that I’m not a practical person. I’m a very emotionally attached person. And it was a much more emotionally scarring experience then I thought it would be.

Gaia: Do you regret getting a abortion and not being able to have children?

Nina: (concentrating on her words) I wouldn't say I “regret” it. I don’t think there is any point in that. I dont see myself as being a lesser woman for not having, or raising children. But because I didn't have that experience of life, there are parts of me did go under developed. Giving birth and raising a child provides you with incredible emotional growth. And that’s something I’m very conscious that I missed out on. I know this by watching your mother raise you and your two brothers. I know also for myself this is true, from just being a part of your life as you’ve been growing up, because it’s has been such a blessing to me. (she smiles at her warmly). Ive also seen allot of women who were under extreme circumstances, who decided to have their children anyway, and their lives were extremely challenging. And I know my life would have been much more difficult then it has been, but in a way that I do believe would have been much healthier for me. My life has been easier because of my decision, but easier in a way that to be honest, I’ve been unsatisfied with. But remember that’s me, and my life. If there is one thing I’ve learned from that whole experience, is to never let anyone else be a template for your life. No matter how much you may admire or respect them. Your path is your own. I’m not telling you these things to avoid helping you make a decision. Im saying you should do what you truly feel is right for you. Trust your feelings and intuition. It is absolutely of paramount importance that you find out who you are before you make your decision. ( she waits for it to sink in. Then starts again.) But Gaia you need to know this… It would be totally impractical to have a baby right now. You would have to drop out of school and get a job. You might not be able to go to college. Your entire social life would end completely. From here on in, your life will revolve around the baby. The most practical decision you can make right now would be not to go through with it…..But what you have to find out is whether or not you are a practical person, or if this will be more emotional traumatic then you want it to be. Use your feelings and intuition, and know that I’m here for you. (Gaia now looked at her aunt again. Her state of mind was still stuck, but it now had the contemplative effect that her aunts words were meant to have on her. She cups her Gaia’s face into the cradle of her hands.): but Gaia no matter what you decide….just from listening to you talk right now, I know one day you will make a great mother.

Gaia (really glowing with appreciation. She really wanted/need to hear that) And I know you would have made a great mother. Because at the very least, that’s what you have always been for me.

They embrace each other tightly, as their cheeks against each other mutually moistens and wets.

This song plays over the credits roll: